Enter our online baby pool.

When Charlotte was born, Ellen’s cousin Brian won the baby pool (and the glory that came with it). Care to venture a guess on the birthday, sex, height and weight of Baby #2?

Enter our online baby pool.

Five years ago today, Ellen and I were wrapping up our single years.

As she and the gals were getting ready at her parents’ house, the guys were memorizing our parts at the church.

I can remember watching out the church window as our guests began to arrive. It reminded me of the Seinfeld finale.

Remember that montage scene where all the supporting characters headed up to Massachusetts for the trial? [Skip ahead to about the 6:45 mark.]

Newman, George Steinbrenner, J. Peterman, Kenny Bania, Susan’s parents, Uncle Leo, Keith Hernandez.

Our version of that montage will always stick in my head. (Though I’m not sure who plays Newman.)

Five years later, we’ve done pretty well for ourselves. We’ve got our own dog and baby and sectional sofa, and we have a handshake agreement for another five-year run. (I offered Ellen a longer contract, but she wants the option to renegotiate in 2014.) We also have plenty of silverware. So if you were planning to send us a silverware gift for this, our Silverware Anniversary, we’d gladly take diapers instead.

Forcing you to look at wedding photos on our anniversary is a tradition here. Take a look at the previous posts:

• The Cotton Anniversary (October 9, 2006)

• The Leather Anniversary (October 9, 2007)

• The Fruit & Flowers Anniversary (October 9, 2008)

I’ve probably seen every episode of Seinfeld at least two-dozen times. So whenever I can use some of the useless knowledge I’ve accumulated, I feel like that was TV time well spent.

Take the Quiz: George Costanza’s Resume

Now that she’s big into opening drawers, we have to be on guard for all sorts of new things. For example, taking clothes out of Ellen’s dresser and walking them over to the trash.

Watch Best Man Justin Evans yuck it up at Josh’s expense at his recent wedding. While the interpretive dance is what people are going to remember, “I’m not the Best Man. Just a great guy” was my favorite part of the speech. For the rest of my life, whenever appropriate, I plan to overuse that the way people use “That’s what she said.”

“I’m not a distinguished alumnus. Just a great guy.”

“I’m not the superintendent of schools. Just a great guy.”

One day, I’ll be in a conversation where that comeback makes sense. And I’ll be ready.

Charlotte has added verbal communication to her arsenal. No stopping her now.

(She’s also mastered “Hi,” “Mama,” “Dada” and “Hoiohhhhhh!” But since those sound more like speech therapy exercises than actual words, we’re counting this as her first.)

We’re now card-carrying members of the Wayne community pool. Charlotte wasn’t crazy about the water at first, but she came around.

Though holding her over the fun-looking fountain didn’t help matters. Read on for more.

It’s hard to beat a day in the sun.

And the pool has a free wireless network. Perhaps I need to expand the definition of “working from home” this summer.

Charlotte enjoyed the people watching more than the acquatic activities.

Also, she peed all over me. We need to do more research into pool-friendly diapers.

It’s been eerily quiet here on jasonenglish1.com the last month. Technical difficulties and malicious hackers knocked the site offline. But with the help of web ninja Charles Gallant (above), we’re back in action. New baby photos and videos will start popping up later today.

With Dr. Sanjay Gupta set to join the Obama administration, perhaps CNN is hurting for contributors.