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It’s official. Charlotte has wrested control of story time.

Tonight when I told Charlotte it was bath time, she informed me that I was wrong. It was, she told me, jump time. So I downloaded the biggest hit of 1992—”Jump,” by Kris Kross—and we had an impromptu dance party.

Before you know it, Charlotte will be wearing her onesies backwards.

Here are a few pictures Ellen’s mom took of Charlotte earlier this summer.

These two pictures (above and below) could be in a gallery somewhere.

And they were captured on the first two takes! (OK, maybe more like takes 37 and 49. But still!)

We’ve been training for season two at The Little Gym.

She’s going to rewrite the isometric hanging record books one day.

Bailey turned five today and Charlie couldn’t have been more excited. She sang her “Happy Birthday,” gave her several new toys, and heartily laughed as I served the dog a birthday London broil in her Kong. And as a special birthday treat, ESPN’s Bill Simmons recorded a two-part podcast with Chuck Klosterman, one of Bailey’s favorite authors. So we went on an extra-long birthday walk tonight, too.

What did Bailey look like when we first brought her home, you ask? Here’s the internet’s first report on the matter.

And here’s how Bailey celebrated the big 2-1 (in dog years).

Today was Pony Rides Day at Charlotte’s daycare. She was a little hesitant at first, but a few gallops later she was having a grand old time. (“Hi horse,” she said.)

Her pony’s name was Waffles.

At least that’s what I think I overheard. We’re going with it.

I would expect “I want to ride a PO-ney” will become one of Charlotte’s favorite phrases. Could be problematic. Maybe we can dress Bailey up in an Eeyore costume.

She went first, so we watched the rest of her class take their turns from a distance. Actually, she first tried to run alongside the horses, which is understandably frowned upon.

Today’s was Charlotte’s big birthday party. She woke up at 7:30 and was angry her guests had not yet arrived.

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Charlotte is super excited for her birthday party tomorrow. I’m hoping my little question-and-answer game isn’t building her up for a letdown.

Me: Is Aunt Emily coming to your party tomorrow?
Charlotte: Yeah!
Me: Is Bald Grandpa coming to your party tomorrow?
Charlotte: Yeah! He too funny.
Me: Is Gordon from Sesame Street coming to your party tomorrow?
Charlotte: No, he not coming.
Me: Is The Man in the Yellow Hat from Curious George coming?
Charlotte: Yes, Daddy. He is coming.

“Bailey has a boo-boo,” Charlotte told us. “She fell down on the playground.” Here’s how we treat fictional injuries in this house:

We were under a Tornado Warning earlier tonight. At Ellen’s urging, we hunkered down in the basement. Bailey was sufficiently spooked, so Charlotte tried to convince her everything was going to be all right.

Bailey didn’t buy it.

Aunt Karen and Uncle Keith’s present arrived this afternoon, and there’s nothing more exciting than unexpected mail. Here’s how Charlotte reacted.

(By the way, she named the dog “Max.”)

Charlotte turned the big 0-2 on Sunday. Today at school we brought in Munchkins and her friends sang her Happy Birthday. A temporary tattoo artist was scheduled to be there today, but Charlotte’s class pretended he was there for her party. She was pretty pissed when the balloons and flower ink washed off in the tub.

Here she is describing what happened today. Two notes: I don’t know where she got the hot dogs part. That didn’t happen. And I apologize in advance for my singing.

Charlotte English, beauty queen.

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We’re coming up on the one-week anniversary of Charlotte’s transition from crib to bed. The first night was a little rough, but she’s adapted very well to the lack of bars.

She likes dropping her new sleeping arrangement into casual conversation. “Daddy, big girl bed,” she’ll say. “Yo Gabba sheets.”

Bailey has also handled the transition with ease.

Here’s Charlotte getting ready for bed and saying goodnight to Bailey. In case you’re wondering, the “papers” she’s holding are balance statements from my old Renegade Marketing Group 401(k). Kids love 401(k) paperwork.

I’m not feeling too hot—strep throat—so I went to the doctor this morning. I brought Charlotte with me, because tomorrow we’re taking her for a very terrifying bloodletting in advance of her two-year check-up. I thought it might soften her up. She wanted to be very clear that this was Daddy’s doctor, not Charlie’s.

She also really likes the guys who cut our lawn.