jasonenglish1.com

• You will not find “Humor Columnist” anywhere on my resume. That’s not for lack of trying. In 2000, Duke’s student newspaper called for entries, and I responded. They called back without good news. In retrospect, this was probably a good thing. The first column – written with roommate Sean Meakim over several nights, over several beers, over several games of Kobe Bryant’s NBA Courtside – left empty our bag of material. I can’t imagine what the twelfth column would have looked like.

The selection committee – which included my future wife, whom I did not yet know – deserves credit. The next semester, they anointed Dana Vachon. Fast forward six years. Mr. Vachon’s first novel, Mergers & Acquisitions, goes on sale Thursday. He’s already sold the movie rights. His two-book advance was $650,000. In the last year, I spent that much running this blog (in man hours, at an admittedly high hourly rate).

• Speaking of resumes, you will not find “NCAA Champion” anywhere on Ellen’s. Had Ohio State won, she’d have earned $350. We talked about hedging our bet – putting $175 on Florida – but we lack a bookie. Is that how you spell ‘bookie’? There’s so much we don’t know.

• We’re in our second week in the new Renegade space. Pictures once again courtesy of “Flash” Surtees. A lot of energy. I like it. Though I sit a little too close to the freight elevator. Today, the FedEx guy and I had this exchange:

Him: Is this OXO?

Me: No. They’re on five.

Him: Well I was down there and rang the doorbell and nobody answered.

[Silence, followed by silent nodding]

[I turn and walk away]

We’re still waiting for the window-tinting guys to work their magic.