Sitcom Employers For Which I’d Love To Work
Employer: Mr. Drummond’s Company
Show: Diff’rent Strokes
Job: Change Agent
Phil Drummond was the Angelina of his time – rich and sexy and adopting kids of other races way before it was cool. While he lived a life of luxury, his company was not always the best corporate citizen. They were behind those sugar-filled vending machines in Arnold’s school. And there is very little evidence they valued the rank-and-file, as indicated by the attempt to put Mr. Drummond’s old disc jockey friend out of work in Portland.
But where you see tooth decay and disloyalty, I see an opening. As a Change Agent – an intentionally vague and shallow term to minimize actual responsibility – I’d work to sway public opinion. To win us friends, I’d impose a wide range of green initiatives. As an occasional recycler (cans, not paper), I’m uniquely qualified. I even have one of those fancy fluorescent light bulbs. But just one. It’s dim and hurts my eyes.
Employer: Malibu Sands Beach Club
Show: Saved by the Bell
Job: Lifeguard/Volleyball Judge
In high school, I was a cashier at our local A&P supermarket. Seven other classmates I’d put in the “good friends” category were among my co-workers. The hardest part of the job was not laughing hysterically in the face of all the unintentional comedy. We had signs and a looping public address announcement imploring customers with special needs to seek our assistance. This was as far as our disability outreach went. When a man who could barely walk demanded help, our night produce manager (later my Best Man) Brett had to push him up and down the aisles on a swivel chair. That man later refused to be checked out by a woman.
What does this have to do with the Malibu Sands? Well, nothing, really. But since I very much enjoyed working a crappy job with a bunch of friends, I’m sure working a crappy job with a bunch of friends in Malibu would be far superior. Even with the irascible Leon Carosi as boss.
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