Yankee Killers
I don’t know what’s worse tonight: being a Yankee fan in New York or a parked car in Detroit. Just a terrible few days. We’ve been paying for that magical 1996-2000 run ever since.
Here are some crazy predictions for this offseason:
+Joe Torre will step aside. The next Yankee manager will be Joe Girardi.
+Despite wild speculation all winter, A-Rod will remain in pinstripes for 2007.
+Barry Zito will be the newest member of the Yankee rotation.
+Gary Sheffield will not be back, and will never play first base again.
+People in Detroit will riot. People in Detroit will criticize the national media for making a big deal of it. But it won’t be that bad until the Tigers defeat the A’s two weeks from now to advance to the World Series. Luckily, the Mets will beat Detroit in the World Series, leaving no excuses for random violence.